Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
