just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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