found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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