# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Green mimosas i think yes
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
