okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
