i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
