Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
