I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
