he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Randomize
