my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
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Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
