And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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