Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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