sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My dick has a subreddit
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
