is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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