When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
