i just had sex bonerless
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
