Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
