hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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