what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
