I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
