Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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