this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
