wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
