whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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