I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
