When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
