I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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