It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
