hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
