If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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