Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
