ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
