Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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