Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
