dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
