Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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