I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
