Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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