I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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