Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
