gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
