I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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