Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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