and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
