Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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