I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Enjoy the penises
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
