k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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