what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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