I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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