you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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