I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize