just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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