haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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