I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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