BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
