he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
