he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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