that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
